Karma's a Bitch
by morethanaperson
Summary: Karma & Nagisa have been professional assassins since high school began. Having just graduated and completing their 100th mission they want to go out & celebrate but will Nagisa's mother become too involved in his life again? Having to live with Karma to escape his abusive home, Nagisa's feelings bubble, will this affect their missions? Smut/fluff/Yaoi
1. Chapter 1

Karma's a Bitch

Chapter 1 Nagisa's POV

Graduating high school as one of the top students and being the governments assassin was hard to balance out these past four years.

Since junior high when we killed Koro-sensei me and a couple other kids from my class were offered the chance to be hired as government assassins but only Karma and I actually accepted the offer. Now… well we kinda well not kinda we _have and will continue_ to work together as assassins for the government. Fun. With Karma at least.

As of last night we graduated our senior year of high school and completed our 100th mission. Talk about celebration.

Standing here at the train station felt like old times. Standing here with a calm patient Karma, everything you'd expect in a killer. Except he was anything but calm now. Waving his hands around with that creepy smile on his face he's had since grade school.

"Nagisaaaaa let's celebrate!" He threw up his satchel caught it, he was way too hyper.

"Errr- Karma you know we _kill people?_ " I don't even know why I bother because that _is_ a reason to celebrate for Karma.

"I don't see how that's related to celebrating? Anyway I'll pick you from your house around 9ish and… actually I'm not sure what you wanna do? Like I'm tired of the clubs that we usually go to to kill people and I don't _not_ want to celebrate so… just grab food? Like we could just walk around till we find something nice and hopefully we'll get another mission where you have to dress like a girl!" Jesus his face lit up at those words.

"Karma why not you just come with me to my house right now? And then from there leave my house?"

"Oh yea I didn't even think about that… well actually I just assumed you didn't want me around your mom so much…" We got on the train.

"Oh well… yea then just come over later I don't think she'd like me springing this on her."

"See you in a couple Nagisa."

I got on the train leaving behind a red blur of the only person in life who really knows me.

Karma and I aren't all that different.

Yea he can be a little crazy and sarcastic and a smart ass but at the core we both really care about each other, we have to, to work together. We both are assassins who are trained killers, and we both came from the same place so to speak. I'm lucky I still have him, I know most people from E class split up after graduation.

Karma was there for me on our first human kill and I thought I would go insane for _murdering_ someone. He was there when I finally cut off all my hair as silly as it sounds. He has been there for me and I've only had a slight crush on him for the past five years.

No surprise I'm gay but in all honesty I was planning on telling Karma on graduation but missions got in the way and as much as he jokes around about "being an old married couple" I don't think he sees me in the same way exactly. Lucky me being an assassin really helped me learn to keep stuff in.

"Nagisa you are late. _Again._ " My mother crossed her arms and glared at me, "When will you be applying for colleges? Have you decided to go to the college I- you have always dreamed of? You could be a businessman for one of the most elite companies in the country!"

"Mom… I'm actually not going to college…"

" _What did you just say? Not going to… college? Do you NOT want a future? Oh I get it you want mommy to cook and CLEAN for you throughout your ENTIRE life?!"_

"No I was already offered a job… from the government."

" _Like I would believe that what skills do YOU have that OUR government would want! Nagisa stop lying. You are going to college if I have to drag you by the ear! END. OF. DISCUSSION!"_

She wasn't in one of her moods earlier. Something must have happened at work. Looking at the clock it's only thirty minutes to 9 crap Karma is always like ten minutes early.

"Mom… well we can talk about this but Karma is actually going to come here to get me so we can celebrate… graduation." I began to head to my room to get changed but my mother grabbed my shoulder.

"Nagisa…" she turned me around and grabbed my head, "Nagisa we've spoken about this. Karma is a bad influence. Karma is no good for you. Karma, _Karma_ that's all you talk about now. I did _not raise a gay son! If you are not going to be a girl be a proper boy!"_

She shook my head back and forth and I couldn't do anything. Understanding me enough to let me cut my hair and stop dressing me in girl clothes was taking baby steps in the right direction. Since I've been spending all my time with Karma it's just back to square one.

What am I supposed to do? She is my mother. I don't think I'll ever get untied from these chains she puts around on me.

I was on the ground now. The best thing to do is to just not say anything and wait for her fit to be over. She kept hitting me on the back of my head yelling, " _What is wrong with you?!"_

The pain… has become numb.

Even now on the floor taking this beating from my mother the pain is dulled. But dulled pain won't stop me from waking up with bruises the next day.

"Mom… stop… you're hurting me."

" _Nagisa how do you think I feel? You're hurting_ _ **me!**_ " She kicked my side, "Get up you worthless-"

The front door opened, "Hey Nagisa! Food is on me! Nagisa? Why are you… why is your mom?"

Crap, crap, crap. No Karma, she'll hurt you too.

"Get out of my house you degenerate!" My mother screamed at Karma but he stood there approaching in a clam manner.

His footsteps echoed with confidence. I knew this look. The look of a poised killer.

He stepped a foot away from my mother and clapped his hands together.

He smiled and spoke, "Ms. Shiota, I've always played dumb and listened to Nagisa's excuses to his bruises or even burns sometimes but I can't sit back now. If you don't like having him around all that much then I'll gladly take him off your hands for you."

My mother was paralyzed standing there completely helpless. She truly saw Karma's true colors the deadly ones that somehow protect as well as kill at the same time.

"Nagisa, Let's go." He held out his hand and we went to my room and without communication packed my bags. I'm staying with Karma. Whenever I fantasized this moment it was under different circumstances. I just wish it wasn't like this and it was because we were together.

"Let's go home Nagisa." He held onto my bags and opened the front door for me. I walked out as Karma smiled at my mother, "Karma's a Bitch."

Home… with Karma I'm already there.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 Living with Karma (Nagisa's POV)

Karma moved out of his parents house his sophomore year of high school and since then doesn't talk to them. I don't think they have bad blood between each other I just don't think they are close.

Walking into his apartment he had a black carpeted floor, white furniture, a small kitchen, a bathroom down the hall, and one bedroom.

"Hey Karma?"

"Mmm?"

"Don't you only have one bedroom?" My face got red just asking the question, "Where am I going to sleep?"

"Well I was obviously going to offer my bed and hoped you would reject it out of being polite and sleep on the couch but it is a small couch even for you and I'm 6'4 so _I'm not fitting on there._ We can just sleep together or take turns on the floor."

 _Oh my god why is he so casual about sleeping together? When he says it like that it sounds so wrong! What is wrong with me? The red spread from my cheeks the the tips of my ears._

"Oh, okay thanks Karma." my voice was even and showed no sign of anxiousness. Thank God.

Karma and I went into his bedroom and set my bags down in his closet. He began to take out empty hangers and hang up my clothes, "You just going to stand there Nagisa or you gonna help and fold some of this shit. There's two empty top drawers over there." He pointed to a dresser on his wall.

"O-oh right!" I grabbed some clothes and began to fold. _Who would've thought Karma is so cleanly? I was half expecting his be to be buried under mounds of clothes but surprisingly it's made, and smells like softener…_

"I'm done over here and crap it's already 10:30? No fun. How about just order take out? I'm in the mood for pizza or noodles and I have a bottle of scotch to liven things up." Karma had a wicked smile forming on his face as he picked up the phone.

"Hey plain cheese you know me… but Karma? I'm sorry… that I'm crashing your place and _Ahh._ " I winced and grabbed the back of my head, blood stained my fingers. _Damn mom cut your nails._

"Nagisa, you're an idiot. Let me clean that up dumbass."

"Okay…"

We walked to his bathroom and to no surprise it was clean too. Karma took out his first aid kit cleaned the back of my head up. We didn't speak throughout it. It was like we both could tell from here on out things would be different between us, but what caused the tension was the fact that we didn't know if it was different for the better or for worse.

" _Ahh Karma that stings!"_

"Not my fault your mom has talons for fingernails."

"You almost done?"

"Nagisa why are you so impatient let me put some gauze on the damn thing."

I looked at Karma. He was focused and had a calming look on his face, but that didn't know I knew how he was feeling. As assassins, we constantly lie and cheat and cover our true emotions, so it makes sense that I can't read him. I wish he could read me because if he could all he would see is how happy I am to be here. _There's no place I'd be. As many time as I've been in this apartment before I never felt welcome until now._

"Alright I'm going to go order the pizza." Karma left the bathroom leaving me, his star struck partner, on the closed toilet seat.

\- (time skip to eating pizza)

"Karma-kun -hic- this scotch was -hic- the best ideaaaa!" I waved my tall glass filled with scotch into the air and chugged it all in ten seconds flat.

"haha -hic- I didn't know you were so easy to get drunk!" Karma grabbed the bottle but to no one surprise it was empty, "Damnnn -hic- what do we do with an empty bottle?" Karma crossed his arms and slung another around me, "What'd ya think _Nagisaaa-chan?"_

" _Chann?!"_ My face would put apples to shame right now, "Karma I don't know!"

Who would've thought Karma was a crazy flirty drunk?

" _Hmm -hic- why not we play truth or dareeee?"_ Karma threw himself on me and begged, " _Pleaseeee!"_

 _"_ _Fine!"_

Karma got off me and clapped his hands together.

" _Nagisa!"_ I jumped a little as he pointed his finger at me, " _Nagisa! Truth or dare!"_

"errr -hic- truth?" I mumbled and looked at the ground terrified of what dare would be.

" _Hmmm okayyy well…"_ Karma's face suddenly turned very serious, "Why didn't you ever ask to stay with me if things were getting bad at home?"

 _Why didn't I? I don't know… Maybe I was scared… Scared I'd fall for you even harder… like now. Ughh my head feels like it's going to explode and what am I even doing? Oh oh truth truth truth. Yesss Karma wants me to tell the truth! Too much scotch._

" _Because Karma! What if I fell in love with you! -hic" Wait what did I just say?_

 _"_ _hahaha Nagisa I need -hic- to get you drunk more often! -hic-"_

 _He didn't even take me seriously!_

 _"_ _Karma! I'm serious -hic- that's so mean! Take me serioussssly! I mean of course you're wonderful, but what if I fell for you?" That's better he should take me seriously now!_

 _"_ _Hmm…? I don't see how it would change anything? I mean we spend every waking minute together wouldn't it be the same?"_

 _"_ _Ooo Karma are -hic- you gay?"_

 _"_ _No no that's not how this game works you have to ask me truth or dare!"_

 _"_ _kay truth or"_

 _"_ _Truth"_ Karma shoved another slice of pizza down his throat and smiled. The creepy one he does when he knows his prey just fell into a trap.

 _"_ _hmm Are you gay?"_

 _"_ _Yes but no? I like girls but boys too so idk if that counts…"_

 _"_ _Yes that counts dumbass."_

 _"_ _Oh well truth or- "_

 _"_ _truth"_

 _"_ _Damn Nagisa are you ever gonna say dare?"_

 _"_ _Next round maybe."_

 _"_ _Okay… then have you ever had a boyfriend? If no whooo would be -hic- your -hic- boyfriend?"_

 _"_ _No because I look like a damn girl! And you."_

He was so out of it he barely even registered what I said.

He slurred, _"Ohhhh wow you don't look thattt much -hic- like a girl. Also dare."_

I don't know what I was thinking. I had no idea what came over me. Maybe it was a mixture of the scotch and the fact we were both so drunk we barely processed anything… but I said, _"I dare you to kiss me."_

Karma crawled over to me and grabbing my waist pulled me close to his chest. _Oh my god he's going to do this?_

His warm breath sent tingles own my spine and our noses touched. His lips gently pressed into mine, my heart was beating so hard and fast against my chest like it wanted to escape.

" _Karma…"_ my words were cut off by his passionate kisses that were slow at first and rhythmic but are now fast breathtaking.

He slipped his tongue into my mouth and pinned me against the floor. My hands traveled up to his face and then down his spine.

He pulled away. _What did I do wrong?_

His voice was breathy, " _Nagisa… truth or dare?"_

 _"_ _Dare."_

 _"_ _I dare you to keep touching me for the rest of the night."_

 _Karma…_

I wrapped my arms around his waist again and kissed his collarbone savoring every second of us touching. I kissed his neck, jaw, ear, and here we are again lips on lips.

Gasps and small moans poured out of our mouths every time we pulled apart for even a second, eventually we stood up still not taking our hands away from each other. We stumbled into the bedroom not taking a minute to let ourselves think.

Karma pinned me to the bed and slid off his shirt revealing his muscular chest. He began to tug at my shirt but that's when the alcohol reminded me _'You have scars you don't want anyone to see under this shirt.'_

I pulled my face from his, _"Karma… I don't want you to see me."_

Karma laid his head on my chest and whispered, _"I know already. I don't care."_

I was putting trust in him. Drunken slurred trust, but trust nonetheless.

I slid off my shirt to reveal a thin scar that went from the right side of me that curved up to my sternum. My mom liked her belts too.

Karma laid his cheek against my heart and whispered, _"Your heart's beating fast."_ He kissed my scar and made his way up further to my neck.

He sucked and licked and kissed and I didn't know I was capable of making such lewd sounds until that night. He was purposefully leaving hickies all over me and I know I'd regret not saying anything in the morning but right now it felt so good. My turn.

I lifted myself up from his grasp on the bed and pinned him down making sure to leave the same love marks on his chest and neck.

We both slipped our pants off exposing our throbbing erections. _I never thought we would be like this…_

 _"_ _Nagisaaa no way am I bottom."_ Karma quickly had me underneath him again and stuck two fingers into me letting me get used to the size.

 _This feels so good. No awkward tension, yes, some fumbling as we try to figure out what we like, but emotional. I can finally read him now._

 _"_ _Karma please stop teasing -hic- me -hic- you have no idea how -hic- much you're -hic driving me insane."_

He kept kissing my inner thighs and I couldn't help but to tug on his hair.

 _"_ _Alright -hic- nuu more teasing Nagisaaa."_

He turned me onto my stomach and thrusted into me.

" _Ahh Karma!"_

He stopped to let me get comfortable.

Then he began to thrust slowly at first moaning with every movement until he kept going faster and faster pushing me to the edge.

My hands grasped the sheets under me and his lips kissed the back of my neck.

I couldn't last any longer, an orgasm rocked through my body and at the same time Karma's cum filled me and _damn did it feel good._ We both collapsed next to each other entangled in each other's arms and the fluffy black blanket.

 _"_ _Nagisa…"_

 _"_ _Karma I think I love you…"_

 _"_ _Me too…"_

We fell asleep covered in cum and salvia, but I didn't care because my head was resting on his neck and his arms were coiled around my torso. Nothing could feel better than our warm bodies touching skin to skin…

\- (time skip to the next morning)

 _Ahh my head hurts. What happened last night? I remember pizza… a bottle of scotch… dammit I got drunk I think? And… and? Did I kiss Karma?_

My eye opened still heavy from sleep and what I saw I couldn't comprehend.

A naked Karma was sleeping on me.

" _KARMA WHAT THE FUCKKK?!"_

 _"_ _Whats your proble-? Fuckk Nagisa why the fuck? Oh shit… what the fuck? Oh my fuck we had sex?!"_

I bolted up, "We were so drunk I barely remember anything but _ew,_ judging by the dry cum all over me… shit"

Karma smirked and buried his head in my chest, "You clearly loved it."

My face turned all different kinds of red, " _Karma!"_

 _"_ Well I have security cams in my apartment if you wanna check em out."

"Ok…" then the realization hit me, " _Karma if we had sex you took it!"_

"Took?"

" _You stole my… you took my-my-m-my virginity!"_ My face was so red I hid it with my hands.

"Oh my god really?! Haha I'm sorry that's hilarious! Well at least it was funnn." Karma winked and me and yanked the covers off of us exposing both of our naked bodies.

" _Karma! I'm naked"_

"What? So? Obviously something I've seen _and done_ before."

How is he so okay with this? Not that I'm not I'd just like to remember you know?

Karma got up tossed a robe at me and grinned, "Let's go see those tapes."

Walking over to the kitchen the carpet was warm and soft against my toes. The security camera had color and sound… great now we can see our drunkenness in high definition.

All I heard was _"truth or dare?"_

 _"_ _I dare you to keep touching me for the rest of the night."_

Now it was Karma's turn to turn twenty different shades of red.

Moans poured from the speakers when Karma paused the tapes with his still crimson face, "Okay, okay… so we were really horny drunks but technically _you initiated it with your whole love confession!"_

"haha don't even act like you didn't like it! Clearly you liked it Karma." Pointing at the screen where his hand was caressing my face.

" _Whatever. You liked it too look at all these damn hickies you gave me!"_

Karma lifted his head up and pointed at his bare chest.

 _"_ _You gave me hickies too!"_

I untied the robe to reveal my hickies.

"Oh Karma… You don't have any clothes on…"

"Is that a problem? Don't like what you see?" His golden eyes had a spark in them.

"No no not a problem- not that I like seeing you naked- well no I do- no well don't you want clothes- oh but if you don't want to wear anything that's okay! Not like you need my permission just IM fine with it! Well no that sounded desperate…"

I kept rambling and with every word my face was so red I swear steam was coming out of my ears.

"I like seeing you naked too." Karma quickly walked over to me and slid off the comfy white robe, "What does this make us?" he whispered into my ear.

Goosebumps covered my neck, "Um well we could… do you wanna…?"

He hugged me, "Do you want to be my boyfriend?"

My heart's troubles were settled with those words, " _Yes."_

 _"_ Okay but we need to clean up look at all that pizza and booze on my table and look at my bed! It smells like sex!"


	3. Chapter 3 Is blood thicker than water?

Chapter 3: Blood is thicker than water Nagisa's POV

I've been living with kara for a week now and nothing has really been different between us since we started dating. Well except for the fact we haven't had sex since that drunken pizza night.

Not like I'm complaining or anything… It's just, how do I even act around him anymore? He seems to be relaxed and fierce all at the same time, like every other normal day. I wonder if he even takes us seriously…

" _What the hell…"_ I mumbled under my breath. I've been looking for some of clothes for twenty minutes now but they seemed to have vanished, "Hey! Karma! Did you do laundry _again?!"_

"No! Why?" Karma walked into the room just wearing boxers, it's 11:00 am and we were supposed to go out for food this morning since we haven't had any missions and honestly really needed the mini break from being assassins.

"Well I think I left some of my stuff at my mom's I need to go back there." I got up and closed my drawers.

"I'll go with you."

I walked over to him wrapping my arms around his waist and hummed in response.

\- (time skip to when they get to Ms. Shiota's house)

My hand was inches away from the white wooden door of my mother's house.

 _What if me and Karma don't work out?_

The thought shuddered through me. _It doesn't matter. He wouldn't kick me out… to live with her again… would he? No…_

"Nagi aren't you gonna knock?" Karma held two empty duffel bags with his right hand ready to pack up the rest of my stuff.

"Yea… just a little nervous I guess…" I knocked.

The sound of my hand against the wood seemed to echo throughout the hall and after a few moments I thought no one would answer but then the door opened.

My mother smiled, the kind of smile a child gets from his mother in public when he did something wrong. The kind of smile that warns you once you get home you will be disciplined severely, but while you are out in public your mother can't touch you, so she warns you.

"Hi mom…" The words came out quiet.

"Nagisa… and _friend_ what are you doing back _in my house?"_ Her smile began to break.

Karma spoke up, "We need to collect the rest of Nagisa's things."

My mother looked at me, "Nagisa this is the last time. You will choose _me or Karma._ I am your blood. I brought you into this world. I gave you _life._ I am _your mother._ Will you choose me or a person who might not even last. This _relationship_ between you two might not even last. Of course I'll welcome you home after you are punished but if you choose _him_ then I never want to see you again. Understood. _Never. Even on my death bed._ "

Karma looked nervous. He thought I wouldn't choose him. I stood there nervously looking between the two.

 _Who do I choose? My mother is right. She gave me life. Is it life if I don't feel alive though? Karma gave me the feeling of being alive… what if he gets tired of me…?_

Somewhere in my gut I knew if I picked my mother I would regret it in the form of blood and bruises but if I chose Karma and even if we didn't break up but one of us died what would happen? Blood and bruises or heartbreak? Blood and bruises was definite but heartbreak was a maybe. How will I know I'll be hurt at the end of this road…

My voice was croaky and my legs felt like jelly, "I choose… Karma…" My mother's face was red and her eyes shone with anger.

"Get your things. _All of them I never want to see anything of yours again. Then get out of my house and never come back."_

I knew she meant it.

Karma opened the door smiling, like he didn't have a care in the world and strolled to my room like he's done millions of times. Except this time was the very last time either of us would be in it.

In my room I grabbed the rest of my shoes, my hairbrush, the rest of my clothes, my blankets from my bed, some sketch pads, my alarm clock, and all my books. I just kind of threw things into bags while Karma folded and organized his. I need to get out of here.

By my room door my mother leaned on the frame looking infuriated and sad at the same time.

Her blue hair was extremely dark and her lips parted, "Get out you've had enough time to get everything."

Karma looked at her and in a sickly sweet voice that was dripping with sarcasm said, " _Thank you Ms. Shiota. Have a lovely day."_

Karma, when he threatens you is terrifying but when he sounds so kind, too kind to the point where it sounds sinister, his eyes still have a hungry look for bloodlust. It's even more terrifying than any glare or hateful word he could spit out.

Karma grabbed the bags and left without another word looking behind him every minute to make sure I was following.

"Bye mom."

She slammed the front door shut as soon as I walked out, "I don't have any children."

\- (time skip back at Karma's apartment)

"Nagi sorry about your mom but at least you won't have to worry about her anymore."

I didn't feel up to talking, "I need a mission. I gotta just work."

Then like magic Karma's phone began to ring and Karasuma's name flashed on the screen.

"Yo, job?"

"Yes. There has been a terrorist gang organization that works in the city. We need to take out the leader. This is the first time in three years he's shone his face so no mistake, got that? He usually goes to this bar and club called Tito's. He orders a hooker and a round of drinks for his gang sometime between the times of 11-11:30. Nagisa-"

"Yea I know my job already… sadly… I gotta dress like a hooker while Karma is the waiter I'm guessing?" My arms crossed and I plopped down onto the ground... _Why can't Karma look like a girl instead of me..._

"Correct. Nagisa will distract Karma will go in with a ten millimeter. No fuck ups. The rest of the information has been emailed."

He hung up.

Karma's face was so red and a smile was plastered from ear to ear, " _Nagi-channnn?_ I love these jobs where you gotta dress like a girl! Not a fan of you doing it for some terrorist leader but that's fine if we hurry up I can you all to myself!"

My eye twitched and my hands covered my face, "Karma-kun! _That's disgusting! I don't want to dress like a hooker…"_ I threw a duffel bag full of clothes at him and he caught it with his right hand.

"Duty calls." He waved the phone around, "Alright let's read the email and unpack."


	4. Chapter 4 The mission

Chapter 4: The mission

Nagisa's POV

Walking into that gross club was okay because I was walking with Karma but as soon as he left to work as "a waiter" I felt exposed and vulnerable.

I was wearing fishnet stockings a shoulderless black shirt and a bright red mini skirt. I had red lipstick on, black eyeliner and a light pink blush… in short I've never been more humiliated. Like yea of course I've had to dress like a girl for missions before but this is probably the worst costume 've ever had to wear.

I had an earpiece in my ear and a knife in my heel just in case I needed it.

" _Karma. Target in sight."_

" _Approach with caution, I have eyes on you sugar."_

" _You're such a dick, over."_

" _Copy that."_

I approached the gang leader and making my voice sound sultry, whispered in a higher pitched voice, " _Hi, oh wow would you like some company?"_

" _Mmhmm."_

The man grabbed my waist, "Let's go to the back room I have some friends I wanna share you with."

" _The more the merrier!"_ I hid my disgust with a smile and signaled Karma to get his ass over here so that I wouldn't be alone.

Staying hidden he followed with a gun tucked away in his apron. He winked at me. Ugh not now.

In the back room it was a lot quieter but it was gross. There was an old red couch and the walls were gray. It smelled like sex and booze and some of the gang members were passed out drunk.

" _What can I do for you boys?"_ I pouted my lips and ran my hands over the gang leaders chest attempting to get his guard down.

"I ordered some drinks so maybe just a quickie because I got things to do toots."

I forced a giggle.

Karma knocked on the door and one of the other members opened it, "Drinks boss."

"Waiter, here."

Karma walked over to the gang leader ready to pull out his gun when suddenly another member grabbed me from behind and whispered, " _I wanna ride you first doll."_

He pinned me to the couch and squeezed my ribs.

" _Fuckkk! Karma!"_ I could feel the bruises start to form and cuts on my skin open from this guys finger nails.

The leader opened his eyes wide in shock, "What the fuck is going on here?!"

Karma's face fell and his signature sinister grin spread wildly across his face, "Get the fuck off her you oversized, mouth breathing, pile of shit!"

The member just kept squeezing me and I was unable to move. Karma quickly took out his gun and shot the gang leader in the gut, " _Let go of her before I shove my gun so far up your ass you'll taste it for the rest of whatever fucking life you have!"_

His bloodlust was tangible and the member got on top of me, " _Assassins huh? What's a cutie like this doing such bloody work? Make me eat my words red. You don't seem to like it when I touch your little girlfriend here so come at me."_ He turned to me, " _What's his name little blue. I wanna send some guys to his house."_

I screamed.

Karma charged him, his eyes full of hatred and anger. I've never seen him like this. Ever.

Some other members attacked Karma preventing him from getting to me while the man on top of me wrapped his large hand around my throat.

" _What's the red-heads name baby? Tell me and you won't die."_

" _I'd rather die!"_ I spat in his face while he choked the life out of me.

The music was too loud for the other members of the club to hear me scream. Eventually I became numb to the sound of my voice and I felt empty.

Just like with mom…

I laid there pinned to the couch with my legs kicking and my throat raw from calling to Karma.

Karma had killed the other members of the gang in the room and ran across the room to me but it was too late. An idea came to me and I shouted, " _His name is Nagisa Shiota!"_

I gave the killer gang member my name. Karma's identity was safe.

" _No! What are you doing?!"_

The game member took out his phone and sent a text. Right as he hit send Karma came up from behind him and ripped him off of me.

The man took out a knife and tried plunging it into my leg but Karma shoved me out of the way taking the hit for me.

" _NO!"_ I grabbed Karma's gun and shot the man one, two, three, four, five, twenty times. The only thing that made me stop was the fact the gun ran out of bullets.

I sank down to the ground with Karma's head in my lap, " _Karma what the fuck is wrong with you?"_

 _Why is my world always painted in blood? The only red thing in my life to bring me color was him._

" _You gave away your name instead of mine. Damn you're pretty badass babe. I won't die the knife sunk through my arm, I've lived through worse."_

" _I don't care if I'm badass what the hell is wrong with you? Where will I be if you die asshole?!"_

" _Oh… Nagi… I won't leave, you have my word."_

" _Your word isn't good enough! We have to stop. No more being assassins I can't handle this. Before yea I cared so much for you but Karma I love you now and it's so different. I wouldn't just be losing my friend I'd be losing… losing my lover!"_

Karma smiled and let out a light chuckle, "You love me?"

I shouted at him, " _Of course you're being a little shit when you could die!"_

Karma's face scrunched up trying to prevent himself from crying, " _Nagi I'm sorry I didn't want you to be the one lying here. Just call an ambulance and in a few days we can go home."_

I took out my phone and called an ambulance.

When I hung up the phone the gang leader from the ground was coughing up blood and sputtered, "My members… when they get a name they know what to do with it…. This doesn't end here you have _my-_ "

He was cut off. Karma took my knife from my heel and threw it at his chest. Job finished but not worth it.

\- (four days later)

Two surgeries and four days later Karma's eyes opened for the first time since he was brought to the hospital.

His face was paler than usual and his hair was tousled as his dulled golden eyes fluttered open, " _Nagi-chan."_

"Enough with the chan bullshit you crimson cunt."

I hugged him and kissed him for the first time in awhile. I savored the taste of his dry lips and his warm breath.

I pulled away my face only an inch from his, "Don't fucking do that again."

"No promises."

He ran his hand through my blue hair that hasn't been washed in days since I lived here for the past four days. There was still makeup on me and I was still in my hooker's outfit.

"Nagi have you even eaten? It looks like you really are a hooker now with the smeared red lipstick and ripped red skirt. But I mean if this is a ' _I'm so glad the love of my life isn't dead'_ gift, it is _really working for me."_

"Very funny."

I shoved him over to one side of the hospital bed so I could lay on the other side. My hand was draped across his chest and my head rested over his heart.

 _Ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum._

Even, loud, strong. That's good.

Karma took a deep heavy breath, "I like how I could be suffocating under the weight of you but you don't care."

"Are you?"

"No."

"Then shut up."

I closed my eyes and got sleep for the first time since I got in the hospital.


	5. Chapter 5

Nagisas POV

Leaving the hospital was a pain in my ass.

.

I had to make sure none of the employees saw me leave with Karma. I had no idea who were "The eyes" in the so called hospital. After awhile I realized dressed like a hooker was too fucking distracting but if you have a plan you can make anything work.

Distracting the employees so Karma could sneak out through janitorial exits was the easiest part of this whole ordeal.

Where the fuck is my mom? The guy just gave me a weird ass riddle, what did he say " _My first home."_? My first… Class-E.

-(time skip to outside the hospital)

Standing in the alley of the hospital was gross. There was old clothing and carts from homeless people everywhere. I swear smelling the air here could give you an STD. I needed to get a car.

Walking over to the more dimly lit part of the parking lot I took a couple bobby pins out of my hair and picked the car's locks. Karma hadn't said a word this entire time, oh shit. He only gets like this when he's thinking of a plan. Hopefully he was just tired and wouldn't say anything stupid.

Shoving the red head in the passenger seat got in the car and hotwired it. Perfect. Now safe house for Karma then Class-E. Bring a hand gun two knives and a taser. That should be all I need.

"Nagisa I want to go with you."

How did I fucking know he was going to say something stupid like this?

"Karma they could kill my mom if we do that."

"How will they know? I mean yea this arm might be a little messed up," He waved his arm that was bandaged and stitched, "But I think we both know I can still do a lot of damage."

No. No way was Karma coming with me. There was a huge ass chance we all could die or knowing terrorists they'll wanna kill both of them in front of me and leave me alive.

"Karma I'm not risking it end of story."

"Let's fight for it."

"Karma no. No fighting no nothing. _I'm not risking your life again."_

Karma looked a little surprised and opened his mouth as if he was going to speak but thought better of it and closed it.

I turned on the car and drove. I'm not having him die.

I opened the door to the safe house that was out in the middle of nowhere and the musky smell of old books slapped me across the face.

"This is keeping me safe? Suffocating me?" Karma scoffed and crossed his arms clearly aggravated that I won't let him come with me.

"Karma _this will keep you safe._ "

"Who's going to keep little Nagi-chan here safe?" He said mocking me.

"Karma… I'm sorry okay?"

He rolled his eyes and asked, "Where is your mom anyway?"

"Class-E but-" My words were cut off by a syringe being stuck into my neck.

Karma was smiling like he just won a game. The liquid flowed through my blood steam and my eyelids became heavy with the sleeping drug.

Karma caught me right before I fell on the ground and whispered, "I'm going with you Nagi. I already thought you wouldn't let me come so I swiped a little something something from the janitor's closet while you were busy stripping to distract everyone. We can protect each other."

 _I'm going to kill him._

"Thanks for telling me where I'm driving Nagi."

My world went black and the last thing I felt was Karma's warms hands holding me up.


	6. Chapter 6

Nagisas POV

Leaving the hospital was a pain in my ass.

.

I had to make sure none of the employees saw me leave with Karma. I had no idea who were "The eyes" in the so called hospital. After awhile I realized dressed like a hooker was too fucking distracting but if you have a plan you can make anything work.

Distracting the employees so Karma could sneak out through janitorial exits was the easiest part of this whole ordeal.

Where the fuck is my mom? The guy just gave me a weird ass riddle, what did he say " _My first home."_? My first… Class-E.

-(time skip to outside the hospital)

Standing in the alley of the hospital was gross. There was old clothing and carts from homeless people everywhere. I swear smelling the air here could give you an STD. I needed to get a car.

Walking over to the more dimly lit part of the parking lot I took a couple bobby pins out of my hair and picked the car's locks. Karma hadn't said a word this entire time, oh shit. He only gets like this when he's thinking of a plan. Hopefully he was just tired and wouldn't say anything stupid.

Shoving the red head in the passenger seat got in the car and hotwired it. Perfect. Now safe house for Karma then Class-E. Bring a hand gun two knives and a taser. That should be all I need.

"Nagisa I want to go with you."

How did I fucking know he was going to say something stupid like this?

"Karma they could kill my mom if we do that."

"How will they know? I mean yea this arm might be a little messed up," He waved his arm that was bandaged and stitched, "But I think we both know I can still do a lot of damage."

No. No way was Karma coming with me. There was a huge ass chance we all could die or knowing terrorists they'll wanna kill both of them in front of me and leave me alive.

"Karma I'm not risking it end of story."

"Let's fight for it."

"Karma no. No fighting no nothing. _I'm not risking your life again."_

Karma looked a little surprised and opened his mouth as if he was going to speak but thought better of it and closed it.

I turned on the car and drove. I'm not having him die.

I opened the door to the safe house that was out in the middle of nowhere and the musky smell of old books slapped me across the face.

"This is keeping me safe? Suffocating me?" Karma scoffed and crossed his arms clearly aggravated that I won't let him come with me.

"Karma _this will keep you safe._ "

"Who's going to keep little Nagi-chan here safe?" He said mocking me.

"Karma… I'm sorry okay?"

He rolled his eyes and asked, "Where is your mom anyway?"

"Class-E but-" My words were cut off by a syringe being stuck into my neck.

Karma was smiling like he just won a game. The liquid flowed through my blood steam and my eyelids became heavy with the sleeping drug.

Karma caught me right before I fell on the ground and whispered, "I'm going with you Nagi. I already thought you wouldn't let me come so I swiped a little something something from the janitor's closet while you were busy stripping to distract everyone. We can protect each other."

 _I'm going to kill him._

"Thanks for telling me where I'm driving Nagi."

My world went black and the last thing I felt was Karma's warms hands holding me up.

- **Karma's POV**

"Sorry Nagi." Not really because that was really fun but also I kinda was because I really do care about blueberry over here.

I lifted the lightweight to the car again and set him down in the passenger's seat. I buckled him up and get in starting the car.

"Alright Karma let's go." I mumbled to myself driving towards the mountains.

The ride was long but I wasn't tired. It actually gave me time to think, to process what I was going to do.

Why does Nagisa even want to save his mom? If I were her kid I wouldn't save her. She beat him, scarred him, and took away everything that he was. I knew about it for awhile but when I saw he was showing up with less bruises I felt a little better about it. How could I not see he was hiding them? Why am I such an idiot? I should've said something way back in junior high to Koro-sensei. He would've done something.

I shook the thoughts from my head. No use in dwelling in the past.

My medicine was wearing off and pain shot through my bandaged arm.

" _Damn._ " I slammed my foot down on the brakes and grabbed my arm in pain.

Breath. In. Out. _I'm cool. I'm fine. I'm good._ I put my hands back on the wheel and accelerated down the dirt road leading to Class-E.

Only about ten minutes away from Class-E I started to remember. Remember what the building looked like and how the mere thought of going there everyday got my blood rushing even faster just because I knew I could _kill something._ Now killing is all I do and it's just a normal thing. A normal thing for me to do every couple of days. Like going out for lunch.

I remember our classmates, kinda. I remember what they looked like and the trips we went on as a class. I remember the first day I went into the building and how determined I was that _I_ was going to be the one to kill Koro-sensei.

Now I head back to this building full of dread full of fear that someone will die and I refuse to let that person be Nagi. Scared of letting someone in overflowed from me, I put up all these walls terrified someone would break them but little did I realize I let in the only person who bothered to knock.

I didn't realize I was so scared of being alone. Now that I'm not being alone _scares the everloving shit out of me. Being behind the walls I put up knowing no one would ever want to come through those doors of my life again scared me._

The tires screeched to a stop. We were here. I wasn't afraid though, that same feeling never changed. The same feeling of not being afraid of putting my life on the line but being scared of the empty feeling and the uncaring emotions that came with putting my life on the line followed me.

Then I looked over at Nagisa. He was sleeping and started to stir. The fear came and I was relieved. I can't afford going into this unafraid or uncaring. Cocky is what will get me killed and I learned that the hard way. I care about Nagi and I will fight. I will move and I will keep moving because I still want him and I'll never stop.

I grabbed the weapons and left the car parked behind a thick patch of trees, surveying the place for other cars or people before heading in.

Moving in closer to the building there appeared to only be two people in the building. One the killer one a body guard.

I knew how to handle this.

The gun I had on me wasn't a long range gun but I could get close enough for a kill shot.

I ran up towards the front entrance using night as my cover and purposefully rustled leaves and kicked rocks. As expected the bodyguard left to check it out leaving him outside alone. He looked around the building searching for the cause of the ruckus and I attacked him from behind hitting him over the head with the butt of my gun.

Blood poured from his head wound but it wasn't severe enough to kill him, just to daze him. Not good enough. I learned the hard way having compassion for your target can cost you your life. Using the guy's thick jacket I muffled the gunshot and shot him in the kneecap.

A whimper escaped the man's lips, he was still confused and not registering everything.

"Is there anyone else on the premises."

"Fuck y-"

I shot out his other knee cap making sure to muffle it. A scream almost was let loose but I quickly shoved dirt in his mouth.

"Is there anyone else on the premises."

"I said fuc-"

I stepped on his bleeding disfigured knees. Muffled cries hung in the air filling my ears that have become deaf to the sound by now. I'm really tired of this shit. Inflict pain, get answers.

His legs were twisted in abnormal directions and his blood on staining my shoes. The dark red liquid poured from him and I thought he would die before I got anything useful out of him.

I stomped down on his knee completely shattering it and simultaneously ignoring his wails that I prayed couldn't reach the inside of the building. I only have a little longer before the member inside thinks something is up.

I took some dirt out of the enemies mouth, "Is there anybody else on the premises?"

The main had tears streaming down his dirt covered face, "N-no! Just me and Boss! Everyone else is on some europe trip!"

"I don't believe you!" I lifted my leg up ready to shatter the next kneecap but the man interrupted, "Please! No one else is here! Boss didn't think he needed anyone else to take down two kids!"

I smiled. Kids huh? I'll show him, "Thanks man."

I raised my gun and muffled the shot to the man's head. Done.

If anyone else ever saw me like this they'd run. They'd cry for help and see me as a monster but Nagisa… he's seen _me._ He's seen me kill and he's seen me enjoy hurting people and not enjoy it. He's seen me _kill lives and make them cry and bleed and scream_ and he stands there not saying a word. He stands there and once I'm able to process what I'm capable of he grabs my hand and with one squeeze my worries of being a monster melt away.

He kills too, different technique, but same thing. I don't think there was anyone made more perfect for me.

Gotta get in this building and get his shit mother out of here.

I started briskly walking when I heard a whisper behind my ear, "Karma after this you're on my goddamn kill list."

I jumped slightly always forgetting how good Nagi is at sneaking up behind people going unnoticed, "Nagisa go back I'm protecting you."

He just sighed and took out a knife, "No. We are partners and we will do this _together._ Also ankles are better to get information rather than kneecaps. Come on Karma we know this stuff."

Nagisa army crawled off in front of me rolling his eyes and slipping in the building through a side window.

This is one of the probably dozens of reasons why I love him. I'm not a monster to him. I'm just a stupid red head. I slip in the window behind him readying my gun. _Don't die you crossdressing blueberry._


	7. Chapter 7

Karma POV

The inside of the building was damp and smelled like old feet. They must have completely emptied the school and gotten rid of Class-E. No surprise there I guess with this deadbeat place. Crawling through the old unused classrooms I could barely see Nagi in front of me as we weaved through the old rotting desks.

I kept my head low and grabbed his shoulder gently. We couldn't talk, if we are about to assassinate this guy it's too much of a risk to speak, it could give us away, but we could signal each other.

I furrowed my eyebrows and lifted up my right hand to indicate I was asking _Do you know where we are going?_

Nagisa nodded and pointed back towards the hallway and then pointed left _We are going down the hall to the room on the left._

I nodded and gestured to his ass with my head _I like the view back here._

Nagi rolled his eyes and glared, turning away from me he continued to army crawl to the hallway _You're an idiot._

I ran my hand through my hair that was starting to feel greasy from not showering for like a week. _Gross._ Even if I was on a mission I couldn't help but let my thoughts wander. _What's going to happen after this? Nagisa chose me but… will he go back to his mother anyway?_

As horrible as she treated him I'm sure if he saw a little gratitude or love from her after this he would think it was worth it to try. To try and be a family. _Damn._ I'm sure if I wanted to I could sabotage this mission…

Nagisa stopped by the doorway and I almost rammed into him. Almost messed up. Nagisa shot me a glare warning me to be more careful and held out his hand and quickly turned it to a fist. He then pointed with his index finger at me and then pointed back towards the room where his mother was. _Sneak attack from me I'll take the guy out, you focus on my mom._

I nodded _I will try to protect her._ Even if I don't want to.

Nagi slipped into the room without making any noises. There was lots of cover from the old desks to Koro-sensei's desk and all the bookshelves. The only light came from outside so hiding in the shadows seems to be all the cover we need.

Nagi held onto a blade and kept it close to his chest. If he was nervous I couldn't tell. He always looks so composed during assassinations I don't think I've ever seen him scared. Even if he actually is. He took cover under some desks but inched his way closer to Koro-sensei's desk at the front of the classroom. He was so quick and he made sure no sounds escaped from the floorboards under his feet. Hell I almost couldn't keep track of where he was.

The terrorist member stood at the front of the room with his long dark hair lining his face. His piercing brown eyes scanned the room continuously. He looked bored. The raven haired man slashed 's back in anger yelling, " _Good for nothing guard. Leaving on duty to probably to jerk off and get drunk."_

Nagisa's mother was passed out in a student's desk with a gag tied around her mouth and eyes. Slash marks decorated her skin and bruises littered her shoulders. She must've passed out from pain. Her eyes were closed and she even looked a little peaceful sitting there in one of the old student desks. Her wrists were tied behind her back with white cloth and her dark blue hair hung over part of her face.

Her kidnapper suddenly spoke up, "You must really _not_ have a son like you said. But we were given the name Nagisa Shiota so… I guess that means you're just gonna die." He smacked her across the face with the handle of his knife.

She awoke and blood dripped from her mouth splattering the wall next to her.

Even seeing her like this. Seeing how I used to see Nagisa over summer breaks… I don't feel pity or sympathy for her. I wonder how Nagi felt when he heard that " _You must really not have a son like you said."_

She's still sticking to the _I have no kids_ story.

"Damn the princess is finally up from her beauty sleep."

As much as her son probably wants to intervene now before it escalates this is _good._ His attention is all on her giving him time to figure out how he is going to attack him from behind. Once he does that I'll go in and attack from the front dazing him. Then while Nagi beats _his ugly ass_ I got his mom. We've done this plenty of times.

I had to move it was almost time. I crawled against the cold wooden floor feeling it scrape against my knees. I held my gun in my mouth even after all the disapproving looks I've gotten from my partner and Karasuma. I had to avoid the moonlight, even the slightest light and I'll be exposed.

I hid only two desks away from the victim. My bandaged arm wasn't in a cast but that didn't mean it didn't hurt like shit, and now of all times. Breathe Karma. Breathe. In. Out. I'm fine. Almost time.

The dark haired man began to slip off his hostages shirt straps and he whispered, "You're pretty attractive. _For a bitch."_

Her voice was hoarse as it came out, completely out of character, "You disgust me."

"Shut up. You got some nerve mouthing off like that." The man's voice was deep and empty.

He lifted his knife and held it against her chin. She froze, fear paralyzed her then Nagisa sprang from behind the man's back and he wrapped his arms around his shoulders immobilizing his upper half. Then with a loud grunt he slammed him to the floor.

I swiftly got up from my position and took a swing at the guy's throat and kicked in his knees. He coughed up dark red blood, it splattered on my clothes. _Disgusting. Laundry day tomorrow definitely._

I grabbed my arm in pain I over did it. Like hell I was going to admit it though. I turned around focusing my attention on my task at hand. Untying _her._ She sat there in shock her eyes glazed over and her limbs almost lifeless. Completely limp. I tried hurrying with the knots but one handed is kinda hard, I looked over at Nagi who was on top of the guy just pummeling him. He made eye contact with me and understood _I'll give you the knife, trade me for the gun._ Our weapons flew through the air as we exchanged them.

Accidentally catching the knife by my hand I grunted not expecting the cut to be so deep.

The white cloth was sliced through easily and it was over. Finally. Until what I feared most reached my ears. Nagisa's blood curdling scream rang out and I froze.

Behind was a sight I thought I would see. Nagisa on the ground under his boot with his knife stuck deep in his chest. Dammit. Dammit dammit!

Completely ignoring my priority I started making my way over ready to _destroy this man._

Then he spoke through his bruised swollen face, "Pick. Pick who dies. You, this freak, or that slice of ass over there." The man cracked a smile and held up the gun.

I didn't even have to give a second thought as to who it was gonna be. She was dead. I am not leaving without Nagisa and like hell will I ever let him leave here alive with _her._.

"I pick-"

"Hold on gingy. Whoever you pick… _You kill."_ He tossed me the gun and for the first time in my life my hand shook as it held the gun.

I wanted her dead this is the perfect time. The perfect ti- then I saw his face. The soft creamy face with purple hickies almost gone but not completely on his neck. Panic was evident on his face and he pleaded with me with his eyes " _Please. Me."_

Never Nagisa.

Even if you begged me to kill you I would never.

The black boot pressed harder against his face and I heard a crunch. _I need to do this now._

I faced his mother. My lover's mother as her mouth gaped open and her eyes twitched I faced her looking completely calm. The face of a killer.

"Red head. You two are lovers right you and this freak? Think about how nice it'll be. For this _bitch_ to be gone. Never have to worry about her again. You two could go live off your life in Europe! Better yet you two could travel the world without having any reason to come back here." I knew he was manipulating me but there was a part of me that knew he was right.

I'd never have to see her face again.

I held the gun up ready. No longer shaking. She is my choice and she will die.

 _What if Nagisa leaves you for killing his mother in front of him? He doesn't want her dead._

Either way then… I won't get Nagisa…

I held the cold barrel of the gun to my head. I closed my eyes squeezing them shut when I heard his voice.

" _I love you! You're fucking life belongs to me! And I didn't say you could die!"_

The words swirled around in my head like a fishbowl. _My life was his?_ I opened my eyes and then realized. _What am I doing?_ I let my feelings get in the way and I failed to see the one person I could kill. Him. I had to do this quick and make sure my shot is good enough to get him. If I miss Nagi is as good as dead.

I turned off the safety letting everyone believe it was my life I was going to take. I hear Nagisa's screams and then in the last moment of everything I pointed the gun at the dark raven haired man and let out _one, two, three_ shots and a body thudded to the floor.

Nagisa laid on the ground stunned with a knife plunged into his side. I ran to him. Holding him as the older man's blood poured over the floor drenching us in it. Red. Everything was red. Nagisa's breathing was even… he'd be okay.

\- Nagisa POV

Karma's arms were warm against my skin and the room reeked of blood. I can't believe I let him get the upper hand like that. So stupid. My mom slowly walked up to us in our pool of blood.

"Nagisa. You kill people?"

My throat was dry and pain shot through my sides but how the hell was I supposed to tell my mother I murder people. The only way I know how I guess, being blunt, "Yes. For the government."

She nodded and stared at me for awhile unsure how to react or respond. I don't blame her.

"I don't know you." She looked blank. As though she couldn't process anything but with those words. The last thing I thought she would say to me after this she just walked out. Not uttering another sentence.

"Don't listen to her Nagisa. I know you. _I know you."_

His reassuring words soothed me.

I made a mistake picking to save her instead of staying with Karma in the hospital where he should be. HIs bandages are ripped and I can tell he's getting an infection. He must be fighting off the fever.

I took out a burner phone from my back pocket and handed it to him. Karasuma. And ambulance now.

He punched in the numbers and my eyelids felt heavy from exhaustion the last thing I remember seeing; the color red.


	8. Chapter 8 Karma you bastard

Nagisa's POV

I woke up to the smell of disinfectant and harsh white lights. My limbs were heavy and my side throbbed with every pulse of my heartbeat.

 _Where is Karma?_

The thought swirled around my mind for awhile. He was all I had left and even though I liked the feeling of having Karma I hated that I had nothing else tying me down to the world.

A gray remote with an emergency button laid in my hand and slowly I clicked the green button that said in big black letters _**Call for Nurse.**_

Almost immediately a man in green scrubs came in and said, "Wow you're awake! You've been out of it for about three days we were starting to get worried about how stable you were." The nurse walked over towards the monitors near my bed, "Vitals are looking great! I'll go get you some dinner even if I'm not really supposed to at this time… but screw it you deserve some food."

Time? What time is it. I looked over the room searching for a clock.

 _3:48am_

My throat was dry and I couldn't move my arms but I tried to speak even if my voice sounded like squeaky floorboards, "N-nurse. _W-w-where is Karma?_ "

The man with dark hair and brown eyes gave me an apologetic smile. His eyes looked down to the ground and he bit his lip. _No. No._

This time my voice was louder even if you could hear my voice breaking, " _Where is Karma. Where is he? I need to see him."_

The nurse sat down on my bed with his hands on this thighs, "He hasn't… he didn't…"

The tears fell from my face and I refused to let him finish his sentence. _No. Anyone but him. Anyone…_

The nurse never finished his sentence and got up to leave, "I'll go get you some ice cream for that throat of yours." The metal door closed behind him and the hole in my chest grew.

I had nothing. No one tied me to this world now and I was alone. Why was I alone? Because I wanted to save someone? I wanted to save my mother? What did my mother do for me that made me want to save her? _What did she do? This is her fault! All her fault!_

No… that's not true. It was my fault. I gave my name I gave a name and my mother was taken and I chose her over Karma when all he did was choose me. He never hesitated. Even if it meant losing me I saw he would've killed my mother. He would've killed himself.

He was going to.

And what did I do? What the hell did I ever do? I cried. I was silent, I was embarrassed of us and I took him for granted.

 _Karma I'm so sorry._

I turned my head into the stiff hospital pillows and ripped out the I.V's in my arm. I curled my toes letting this sinking feeling of being alone, of loss just take over. It wasn't numb, everything was overflowing from me and I couldn't stop it. Stop this.

Karma. We were partners for four long years and I loved you since our junior year together. I finally could call you mine after graduation and now… What have I done?

I felt like screaming.

No. This is a dream. All a dream. I'll close my eyes and when I wake up everything will be okay and Kara won't have that nasty infection on his arm and I wouldn't have taken on the job of being an assassin.

This is all a dream…

\- (time skip two weeks later)

Everyday I keep telling myself that Karma will walk into my room. I haven't asked about him since and don't know where he is, but do I really deserve to know?

My stab wound is healing very well according to all the doctors but I just lay there half letting any of the words sink in. They put me in these white roped restraints now after trying to kill myself twice.

I'm on 24/7 surveillance and I haven't seen my mother once. Not that I want to.

The nurse came in again, "Nagisa. You'll be discharged in a week from now I hope you're excited to go back home! Remember daily therapy sessions here!"

He left leaving me as fat clear tears ran down my cheeks and I didn't have room to think or breathe. _Home._ Home was Karma. His apartment. His inviting smell and the mischievous grin he gave me when he was going to do something stupid.

He'd want me to clean that damn apartment though. I'll clean it. Everyday. For you. I'll make sure it's cleaner than it ever was.

\- (time skip to after being discharged and standing in front of Karma's apartment)

The door to the apartment was plain and it looked like nothing changed. Everything had changed though. I entered the four digit code and turned the cold doorknob. Everything was the way we left it.

I couldn't help myself.

"Karma! I'm home! I missed you!"

I shouted it from the top of my lungs hoping I'd get a response.

I shouted it over and over and over again until my throat was raw.

Leaving my shoes by the front door so I wouldn't get dirt on the floor I ran to the bedroom. The bed was made and the floor was clean. There wasn't even laundry in the basket yet, but dust was collecting on the desk. _This is no good. When Karma comes home he won't like the dust._

 _When he comes home._

 _Did I just think that?_

I jumped face first into the bed and smothered my face with the pillows. They still smelled like him. They smelled like light cologne and coconut shampoo and some scotch. I loved it. I took in everything and let everything come out. Let all my tears out, finally.

I sobbed what seemed like days. I remember the touches he gave me and the heated words on our drunken night. I remember how he loved embarrassing me even if no one was around. I miss it.

"Karma you stupid bastard! Come home!"

No response.

I couldn't stay like this though. I got up and remade the bed. I cleaned the floors and scrubbed all the counters twice. I washed the walls and wiped the dust from every shelf. I mopped and swept and vacuumed and took the trash out and sprayed air freshener everywhere.

Everything was finally clean.

I ended up curling up on the couch and falling asleep.

-(One week later after daily visits to the hospital for therapy)

Leaving my therapy session was awful. Going there stirred up so many feelings how the hell am I supposed to deal with those feelings afterwards?

Then I saw him.

I saw the flash of vibrant red hair and all I could think was "Why is everyone fucking with me?"

Then I saw his face. Karma. _KARMA!_

I ran. I wasn't supposed to but I ran. I let my legs carry me and fly off the ground below me.

I opened my mouth and screamed, " _KARMAAA!"_

My voice carried throughout the hall and I finally caught up with him.

A doctor was wheeling him off to a room and I exclaimed clutching onto his bed like it was my lifeline, " _Why the fuck is Karma Akabane in this bed?! I was told he was dead! DEAD! Here he is alive! Alive and breathing and okay!"_

The doctor looked puzzled and said, "Karma Akabane? No no this is Asano Gakushu. He was admitted for an infection in his arm. His father died and he hasn't woken up since being admitted but you should know this. He came in with you we believe."

Anger boiled in my veins, "YES! The boy who was admitted with me was Karma Akabane! Not Asano! I know Asano! This isn't him even if they resemble each other! You have this wrong! Wake him up! He'll tell you! He loves cleaning and went to highschool with me and-" My voice broke and my arms wrapped themselves around his waist, tears fell from my face and I squeezed my eyes shut, "He went to middle school with me and he has gold eyes. He loved me and he fought for me and he- he- he." I couldn't finish.

My voice fell apart and I held onto Karma the only tie I have to this world, "This is Karma Akabane and I won't let you take him from me again!"

I trembled and whispered over and over, "Karma wake up! I'll dress like a girl if I have to! I'm sorry! I'm sorry I gave my name I'll never do something so stupid and reckless again! I'm sorry I never chose you like how you chose me! I'm sorry! _I'm so sorry! I should've told you how I felt from the beginning! I would've had more time! More time… Who is going to call me a crossdressing blueberry?! Who?!"_

I was falling apart and all the doctor could do was watch with an open mouth.

Wordlessly I crawled into the bed with him and let the doctor wheel him off to his room.

\- (time skip one month)

I have been living in Karma's hospital room for a month now and he still hasn't woken up. They wanted to pull the plug but I paid off the hospital refusing to let them. I won't let them take him away from me! Ever…

To pay for it I drowned myself in assassination killing one after another. Murder. I'm a murderer and I'll gladly slaughter people for him. Yea. It's dark. Yea I'm different but this is the redhead I'm talking about. He would've killed himself for me. He would have rather had me alive and breathing and living even if it meant he would never see me again.

How the hell do I repay that?

Do I feel bad for killing? Of course I do. Their faces haunt me every night but it's not like I would ever hurt an innocent person. Never.

All the men I'm ordered to hunt down are cold blooded rapists and murderers. I'm still human though. I just push past it. I push past the fear of losing myself in blood for him because I remember why I'm doing it. Then everything is clear.

Not today though. Today all the infection has cleaned out of his system finally and he still isn't awake.

The apartment is spotless and usual and I refuse to sleep in our bed so to not ruin his scent. I only go there when I need it. When I need to feel like he's holding me.

My face is buried in his shoulder and his breathing is better. _Ba dump ba dump ba dump._

HIs heart beats against his chest loudly like it wants to escape but his arms are limp.

Hold me Karma. I need you to hold me. I need you. I need you to run your fingers through my hair just one more time. One more time to feel it. I want to feel you. I need to feel you

I can't take this.

My voice was trembling and my body shivered, " _Karma please. Seeing you like this… I'm dying everyday. Hold me. Hold me. Hold me. I cleaned. I clean twice a day and do dishes every time I use one. I pay the rent and bury myself in the pillows when you're away. I never buy tomatoes because you don't like them even if they are a perfect representation of your head. Please. Karma you bastard hold me."_

Tears poured from my red eyes and my fingers gripped his hospital gown like I'd lose him forever if I didn't

Strong warm arms wrapped my torso and a hoarse low voice spoke into the crook of my neck and shoulder," _Hey blueberry. Don't worry bout a thing, I'm holding you. You better have made the bed because I think when I get home we should have some 'I'm so happy you're alive' sex."_


	9. Chapter 9

"Holy shit I should die more often! You kept it this clean for over a month?! How the hell did you, Mr. Laundry is a once a month thing, pull that off?"

Karma looked around the apartment with wide eyes.

I shrugged my shoulders and gave a shy smile.

Even though being with Karma made me happier than I could have ever been something has been different. I feel different. Like I was going through this storm I called life and now I was in the eye of it. It was like time stopped just for me and everything was always completely still but moving at the same time.

I was quieter and just more centered. I guess he just did that to me.

He set down a gallon of vanilla and chocolate ice cream on the counter as he marvelled at the spotless apartment.

"If you stare at it for too long your eyes might fall out." I joked as I made my way closer to him in the kitchen.

' _How many times had I fantasized this moment would happen again?'_

' _Too many to count.'_

What was happening to me? My eyes were stuck to him as he shuffled around the kitchen tying his apron around his waist as though he had done that everyday for the past month. He fished out some bowls from some cabinets and took out an ice cream scooper.

My legs guided me to a stool near the kitchen's island and I gazed at him letting the emotions of arousal and peace and safety consume me. I could smother myself in this. Because this, this is what I've been wanting no craving for the past month. Him, just him in the simplest form. Even if the simplest form of him is him in an apron humming 'if you like it then you better put a ring on it'.

He took out flour and sugar and baking powder and some chocolate cocoa saying, "Some cake would be great with this ice cream."

His hips swayed slightly and he hummed closing his eyes as he stirred the ingredients together.

I could stare at him all day like this. Everything was perfect but I still didn't feel right. Something was very wrong. I can't deal with that right now though. Right now since I have him. So I ignored it.

I closed my eyes for a couple minutes listening to his voice and T.V that was playing some doctor show in the background I heard nurses call out 'He is coding! I need someone over here!'. When I opened my eyes Karma wasn't in front of me anymore.

Panic flooded me. I sat up and slammed my hands against the counter.

"Karma! Babe where did you go?!"

A sultry voice whispered my name against my neck as Kara wrapped his arms around me waist.

I melted at his touch completely falling into it and feeling safe again.

He turned me around on the stool and his hot lips pressed into mine.

"Karma… I thought I'd never feel your lips again."

So many times where I only imagined this. So many times I tried remembering what this felt like. What he felt like and I could never get it right. Now was my chance. My chance to remember everything and to study the way he looked and how he acted.

This time I would take in everything I possibly could about Karma.

"I thought I'd never see you again."

He stared at me in a way I'd never seen him look… like he was memorizing everything about me, "Karma? What?"

"I love your blue eyes. I could get lost."

My heart fluttered and my ears turned pink. I buried my face in his neck taking a deep breath of his scent as he pressed light kisses over my head like a halo. This was way too perfect.

"Mmm I m-missed you! You're a bastard you know that?!"

"I know. But Nagisa I need to tell you something." His smile melted away and was replaced with a neutral expression.

The feeling that was dormant of something wrong twisted and I gasped, "Something's not right is it?"

"Yea. Something isn't right." He looked away but never let go of my waist.

"What? Did I do something?!" My voice broke and my shoulders trembled.

"No. I just can't keep a promise I made to you and I'm sorry blue."

"Do you not love me anymore?!" The panic was evident in my voice. I may be a highly trained assassin but with him it's impossible to put up the act anymore. Before we were romantic it was easier but now… now it's like I'm naked in front of him. So vulnerable.

Karma's mouth curved into a smirk and he let out a breathy chuckled, "No I'm still madly in love with you. I swear. This ass is yours for the taking."

Relief flooded my body but I couldn't help but feel that but coming. I was sure that he was going to say a bunch of sweet thing followed by a but.

"Nagisa. I wish I married you. I wish I could marry you right now. I love you and I have no regrets about taking that stab for you because I would have given my entire arm for your life. My entire body. My entire being just to know that you were alive and breathing because if anyone deserves all the great things in the world it's you. I just wish that you wouldn't overwork yourself. Thank you for accepting me as the monster I am. Thank you for not looking at me like I was disgusting or something. It meant so much more than you could ever know. Because I really id love to kill sad to say." He searched my face for a response.

Knitting my eyebrows together in confusion I didn't understand. I just wanted him to stop and make things easy. Why couldn't he just make sense. I just want comfort not more problems.

He must have read my mind because he sucked on my neck and trailed down my arm leaving a path of hickies. His mouth licked and kissed every inch of my neck and some moans fell from my lips.

"Nagisa… you are so smart and so strong. Stronger than I ever was. I wish I could marry you-"

I cut him off completely in awe of everything he was saying.

Words I thought he would never say to anyone, especially me, but here I was cutting him off in a rush of emotions, "Then marry me now! Marry me right here!"

I grabbed his hands and placed them on my cheeks, "Marry me now. I never said I love you enough. I love you. And I pick you everytime. I won't ever pick someone over you because now that I know what losing you is like… I would never be the same if that happened to me again."

He looked away ashamed, "I can't. Marriage... marriage is a sacrament meant to tie the living together."

"What? We are living." My eyes widen and the doctors voices on the T.V got louder. I could hear the doctors shouting, " _Someone! Someone start CPR! He's going in and out!"_

"Nagisa I'm sorry I didn't keep my promise about staying by your side forever. I would have if I could have but I can't go back."

"Karma! Are you leaving me?" My voice was laced with dread and fear. What the hell was happening?

"Let's have this one last moment and eat our ice cream and get drunk on the bed. We can even make a mess."

\- (now in the bedroom)

Fat clear tears poured down my face and I choked on my ice cream and rum as I put spoonfuls in my mouth.

Setting the bowl of ice cream and bottle of rum aside I hugged Karma wrapping the warm white sheets over us.

I didn't completely understand what was happening or what Karma meant. We laid together entangled in each other's arms and missed feeling cold ice cream melt in my hot throat. Karma held me kissing my shoulders and playing with my hair.

"K-karma why are you doing this? I cleaned! I cleaned for you! Is that why you're leaving did I do something wrong?! Please Karma. You're my life! You tie me to the world. You're my anchor. I don't want to be alone sitting in the corner of home and miss you more. I pick you I pick you I pick you..."

I let his rough hands soothe me and I listened intently to his response, "Nagi-chan… Listen here. I'm not leaving you because I want to. If I had the choice I would stay with you right here in my arms for the rest of my life. I guess I am doing that in a sense… but no you did nothing wrong baby. I know you pick me. I never doubted that." He nuzzled his nose to mine, "I can hold the world in my hands."

I laughed pulling our faces together only centimeters apart, "No you can't."

He was really leaving me? After everything?

Then he cupped my face and said, "See? Yes I can." His lips comforted mine and I wanted to drown myself in this maddening love.

I gripped his shirt and pulled him close smelling him. Kissing him roughly but sweetly making sure he felt every single push and pull of my mouth.

He started to take off his clothes, "Let's lay. Nothing else but just lay together. Like if we could get married and do this every night."

I still didn't understand what he meant.

But I took all my clothes off like he was doing anyway.

I laid next to him completely naked loving the feeling of our skin on skin because we could be like this forever and it still wouldn't be close enough.

All I ever wanted was to be close as humanly possible to him. I wanted to tie us together in every way possible. My hair was long again and it was down covering my shoulder and my face was pushed into his toned chest. I focused. Focused on him.

' _Why was he leaving me if he wants to be with me?'_

' _Why won't he just tell me the problem?'_

Question after question formed in my head until I needed to concentrate on something else before my head exploded.

I could still hear the T.V doctors and nurses voices from the living room. Yelling about the patient's lover that was asleep.

No concentrate on Karma.

His fingers carved paths along my spine and he hummed into my hair.

"Nagisa whenever you're sad think of this. And say to yourself 'Karma always wanted me and never left me.' Okay?"

"Karma why can't we get married? You scare me when you talk about leaving." I held him tighter.

"Because I am leaving. You'll never see me again but I'll always see you. I'm sorry we can't get married. I love you."

The T.V got louder " _We are losing the patient!"_

"Karma turn off the T.V. Please it is blaring. I love you too. So much. With every fiber of my being."

"I know."

The light poured into the room's window blinding me and I felt dizzy. I couldn't see Karma so much anymore and soon the radio turned on too yelling, "Wake up the boy!"

My eyes filled with tears, "Karma… is this… a dream?"

"No, well yes. But I'm real, very real. Baby I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.I pick you."

I choked on my sobs and my lips quivered, "I pick you. I can't lose you. It's like losing part of myself. It's like drowning but never dying."

"Say it. Say what I told you."

"Karma always wanted me and never left me."

I took a breath.

"I would've have married you and we would've had kids." He smiled planting a kiss on my lips.

I smiled, "Adopted one boy and one girl. And we would've quit being assassins."

"Anything for you, you crossdressing blueberry. I would've given you anythi-"

But whatever Karma wanted to say was cut off and I was ripped from his strong arms back to reality. The T.V blared and the voices from the nurses on the television were now the real nurses in front of me apologizing.

I opened my eyes and rubbed them. I was sitting in a brown chair in Karma's hospital room and Nurses huddled around me, " _I'm very sorry for your loss. We tried so hard but his heart gave out."_

"He was awake yesterday…" This wasn't happening.

" … You were with him when he woke yes? The pressure your body put on his when you laid on his chest was too much for his heart. It gave out and he died. I'm sorry."

I sprung up from the chair.

 _I killed him. Because I loved him too much? I just wanted him to see how much I needed him. And I killed him. I'm a murderer. Always have been._

I shoved my way past the nurses and looked at him this time.

'No no. Karma is alive. Like last time. This is a mistake and Asano is dead. Not Karma. Karma is alive.'

A smile spread on my face as my hope flew through the ceiling. 'He is alive'

I made my way across the room to his bed only to see Karma's face that was a sickly pale. His eyes were closed and his mouth was curved into a smirk. His red hair looked paler and his face was tilted to the right side. His hands were limp at his sides and his hospital gown was torn open.

I fell to my knees.

I killed him.

This time I actually kill him.

Why is he happy? Why is he smirking.

Guilt and utter loss made a home in my stomach and I screamed. _I shrieked._

My voice ringing out throughout the hospital. I clung to Karma clawing at his body.

It was only a dream?

Our ice cream? Our kisses. His body. No…

" _ **KARMA. YOU BITCH WAKE UP! DON'T LEAVE ME! YOU PROMISED!"**_

My fists pounded against his chest as the doctors tried pulling me off him.

" _I LOVE YOU!_ "

I never said it enough.

Then I remembered what Karma said in my dream, "Whenever you're sad just say 'Karma always wanted me and never left me.'"

But it's not the same.

No matter how much I say that he will never be back and my heart will never be in it's proper place again.

I was gasping. Gasping for air because I finally thought this chapter of pain was out of my life but I was so wrong and my soul felt like it was leaving my body but I was alive to endure the pain.

This is my punishment. For picking my mother. Karma is a fucking bitch.

I looked down at my clenched fists to see hickies all along my arm. It was him. It was him. His lips did touch my body and it wasn't in my head.

He is out there. And I will see him again. Even if it takes my life.

I cried over his dead body that was still warm. I just missed him.

Quietly my choked sobs began to form the words I've been wanting to say this whole time, "Karma… I pick you."

\- Time skip to two days later, the wake-

I was meant to drive Karma's body to the area I had as his wake. But I wasn't driving there. I made a sharp turn onto the street that led to our apartment and I went to the back of the hearse to Karma's casket.

Everything was planned.

I took out a wheelchair and hauled Karma's cleaned and preserved corpse onto it.

I wheeled him up to the apartment.

I'm going to do this.

\- (timeskip to when they are in the apartment)

"See Karma the apartment is clean just for us." I pointed to the counter "That's where you brought home ice cream."

His lifeless body looked peaceful and soon so would I.

I wheeled him to our bedroom and lifted his very heavy body onto the bed. The floorboards creaked under us and my phone rung. Probably Karasuma. I ignored it.

Walking into the bedroom I laid next to his cold body and opened the nightstand cabinet. I took out his gun. The gun he had that night.

I faced him tears spilling from my eyes as my warm hand ran fingers over his cold dead face.

I remember when I first met him and how I felt like I met a real person for the first time. No one else will ever give me what he did. No one else would ever make me feel as whole and he did. No one.

The front door opened and I heard Karasuma's voice, "Kid! Kid! Where are you?! Kid! Please You're scaring me! The wake started twenty minutes ago! Where are you and… Karma."

I felt the cool smooth surface on the gun against my hand and adjusted my note on my torso. I made sure to write Karasuma a special one.

"Goodbye Everyone. Hello Karma. I'll see you on the other side."

The bedroom door opened and I didn't look away from Karma as Karasuma yelled, "Kid no!"

I squeezed the cold metal trigger and immediately everything went black.

\- (18 years later) Nagisa's POV

The summer heat rippled across my skin and I swear to god this was actual hell.

I was hot under my high school graduation gown. Karma and I were walking to the train station from the graduation ceremony and he had his head thrown back in a slight smile with his hands in his pockets.

I've been crushing on him and maybe now is the time? To say something…?

I've known him since elementary school and he has never left my side once. As soon as I was transferred to his class it was like he knew we would end up being together for the rest of our educational careers.

At one point I was on the brink of being put in class E and Karma helped me to make sure I stayed in class D. I ended up never setting foot in the building. I never knew why he was so adamant on me never going there. Ind the end though it helped and I never knew anything about the building, the students, or the strange teachers they had.

We are in the now though. And right now...I just wish I could say something to him.

"Nagi! It is hot as balls."

That's something to say I guess.

His voice snapped me back to reality as i found words, "Yea… well do you want to do something?"

"Oh like celebrate?"

"Yea let's do something?"

I don't know why but nostalgia flooded me.

"Yes! Let's celebrate! Chinese? Ooo at my place?!"

"Sure karma. I have to go home first but…"

"No."

"Karma I swear it's fine I need to change and I know you don't like my mom for good reason but I have to tell her. She's my mom."

He looked away at the ground with a pained expression clear on his face, "No Nagisa I don't want you near her."

He knew from the moment I met him that she beat me and I had no idea how but he's always been perceptive.

"Where else can I go." The words echoed throughout the empty train station and my foot was fidgeting.

"Live with me. Let's go to your house grab your things and live with me."

Before I could register what he said the word yes was spilling out of my mouth.

"Good."

My face was fifty shades of his hair and I buried my face in my hands as we stood there still waiting for the train.

He stepped closer to me.

What the hell was he doing?

His voice came out low and sweet, surprisingly, "I'm in love with you."

I laughed thinking he was joking but looking up with the setting sun behind him creating a halo of light around him he looked dead serious. My heart skipped a beat. Was he serious?

I was practically jumping out of my skin. Sure anyone could I was gay but Karma? I never even knew...

I stuttered words not forming, "I-I-"

He leaned in closer.

"Oh? You don't want to be with me too? I just thought because last time you did…"

Last time?

"I just I didn't think you'd ever say it! Or like maybe I don't know maybe you'd leave me one day… Since I'm boring and everyone falls for you…"

"No. I promise I'll never leave you, you crossdressing blueberry."

Nostalgia flooded me again and I don't know why. The train came by and I couldn't move. We stood there inches from each other staring at each other for some kind of reaction.

"Crossdressing?"

"Hm?" He arched his eyebrows confused.

"I've never crossdressed before."

"Yea you have. That one time we were on a mission and you went with Kayano and you got hit on I'm sure I have a picture…"

"Who's Kayano? Mission?"

Was Karma going crazy?

Then his eyes glazed over and his lip curved into a frown, "You still don't remember…?"

"Remember..?"

What the hell was he talking about?

"Okay then I have a feeling or memory that I know you will never forget. Sorry about this but I don't know how else to get you to remember. I'm leaving you."

Fear, sadness, and betrayal filled me, " _What the fuck?! YOU JUST SAID YOU LOVED ME?!"_ I pushed him away and scoffed ready to punch him in the face.

This is a prank. What the fuck Karma?

God I hate him sometimes.

"Nagisa I'm sorry I didn't keep my promise about staying with you forever." His face looked hopeful like he was waiting for a reaction out of me.

Is he fucking serious? Karma you asshole… don't go. You've been the only person to make me feel alive.

"Karma don't leave me! I'd miss you!" I was pathetic. Here I am begging for him when he doesn't even want me.

"Say it. Say what I told you to and I'll stay."

"What? You've told me a million things before!" Then in the middle of my storm I felt the calm wash over me and I knew. I knew what I had to say, "Karma always wanted me and never left me."

A smile broke out on the red head's face and he held me close tears still spilling from my eyes.

"Nagi… I thought for this life You would never remember. Us. From then."

Everything came back.

Including how I died.

"Karma I killed myself next to your corpse."

"I know."

"How?"

"How else would you have entered this timeline so close to my age. You must have left two days after because I'm two days older than you dumbass."

"Oh…"

With the memories came the feelings. The feelings of our bodies on each other and the loss of him that ripped my soul in two.

"Karma. You said if you could you would marry me. So, marry me."

His face that rested on my shoulder looked up at me and his hand cupped my face, "I said I'd give you anything right? That includes giving you myself. I pick you."

I squeezed his body close and stood on my tippy toes to reach his ear. I whispered finally feeling like everything was right again, "I pick you."

-IMPORTANT

Heyo! So I dont want to end this here! Do you guys want another chapter with a wedding or them moving in together or some fluff or smut! The next chapter of this fic is in your hands! Leave a review and tell me what you want and I shall make your dreams come trueeee! Anyway if I get no comments on what anyone wants then this is the last chapter! Tell me what you think!


	10. Chapter 10 Beginning of the end

( time skip to leaving Nagisa's house with all his belongings) ** _Karma POV_**

's eyes shone with anger as Nagi and I left with all his belongings. His small hand still reaching out toward his selfish mother long after her front door was slammed on his face. Thank God.

She didn't deserve Nagisa.

My heart was tugging at my chest as I watched his hand lower and pick up a black duffel bag. I knew I was taking him away from his family but what about me? This is selfish and I knew it long before I ever asked him to live with me. I was selfish when I stopped Nagisa from joining class E. I was selfish this time though for all the right reasons.

Last time I let that knife plunge into my arm and I let myself die as long as he lived while I let him stay alive and suffer. I'd never forgive myself. Everyday I see Nagi I know it's because I wasn't there to stop him from dying. _Because I am an asshole. A selfish asshole._ Not this time.

Not in the same way.

I was not going to let Nagisa learn to kill. Never would he be an assassin. Never would I let class E near him. I nurtured his interest in teaching and protected him from everything that hurt him last time. Well… almost everything… because even if his life would be better without me… I can't completely change… I kept him to myself this time not letting Kayano or Asano get to him. Last time I hurt him the most but being the asshole I am… I can't let go. Not yet.

All I wanted was for us to be happy.

But standing in on his mother's front porch clutching onto his bags like they were my lifeline maybe I made a mistake. A mistake making him remember. Maybe he only felt anything this time for me _because he remembered._

Stressed decorated my face and my knuckles began turning white from holding onto the bags straps too tightly.

"Karma?"

I didn't look up from the ground. I took a breath and loosened my grip, "Mmm?"

"Karma… you're… you're crying?"

Looking up I felt the wet hot tears silently slip down my face. His blue hair was getting long but it framed his face nicely. His mouth was pressed into a line and his eyebrows were knitted together in confusion.

I know. I'm supposed to be the strong one. Here I am. Making him worry. I'm such a dick. How could I make him worry about me? When all he deserves is to be worried about?

I opened my mouth talking just above a whisper, "I'm okay. Let's head over to my apartme-"

"Karma." His voice was stern and his eyes looked actually _angry_ , for once.

"What?" I began walking down the street towards the train station, moving a little slower than normal so he could follow.

"Karma I know you. It… what happened… last time I mean. None of it was your fault." He was next to me, chin up. He was confident.

I'm glad he was. He deserves to be listened to.

So he deserves the truth too.

I stopped walking, the dark sky making me feel more at ease as I turned to face Nagisa, "It… _is_ my fault. I was… Selfish." My body cringed at the word as it escaped my lips, "Even if you lived in pain… to me it didn't matter if I died. To me even if you were alive in pain it was living."

He took a step towards me hand pressed up against my chest.

"Nagi… I was too stupid to listen to you! I should've _listened_ when you said I was important to you because if I believed it and just listened to you as you said that I would've never thrown my life away so easily for yours. I would've _never thought you were going to be okay after awhile if I died!"_

I couldn't stop my hands from trembling and I looked away refusing to face my feelings. Refusing to face I did this to us.

But that wasn't all of it. I had to tell him the whole truth before he had the chance to say anything else.

My hands clenched into fists, "The worst part is I don't regret dying for you! If that happened again I would take three, no ten knives for you! I hate myself for it. I hate that I can never see myself the way you see me. I hate that… I would put you through all that pain again if you lived. I made you remember. Which is the worst of it. I made you remember everything and I kept you out of class E so you would never become an assassin. I took opportunities from you, all because I'm a selfish little bitch. Now we are stuck in this timeline where I feel like I was given a second chance to make everything right but instead I'm still only caring about me, us, and where I will be with _you._ You can leave… it's my turn to hurt, my turn to understand."

"Karma shut the fuck up."

My eyes snapped up my neck almost getting whiplash from looking up so quickly, "What?"

Nagisa pressed both of his hands against my chest and slowly wrapped them around my torso, "Karma here I am thinking I was so happy we could start over."

"Start over?" I never even thought of moving past what I did. Would never let myself.

"Yes, it's this thing people do when they are ready to just begin life again with a clean slate." He smirked letting his head fall on my chest.

He was too trusting.

But I couldn't deny the fact I loved this.

"Karma, if you didn't do that I'd be the dead one. One of us would've died and you stepped up. Why would I hate you? You always without even thinking put me first, like instinct. I'm jealous. Jealous that you just had this … I don't know this air about you. It's like I never asked you to do anything of those things but I was glad you did. It made me feel… cared for. Something I failed to notice before we were… together. I always thought you cared about me because we were partners but now and before when we were together I suddenly saw clearly."

He lifted his head up and smiled, "How in the hell could I hate the one person who always, without doubt, picked me? I couldn't even do that. You did enough protecting. You shouldn't have had to protect me all the time. I'm sorry I killed myself. You just, you just don't know how absolutely drunk I am on you."

I clutched onto his shoulders letting the bags at our feet collect dust.

"I'm a selfish bastard."

"Do you still like to kill?"

"Yea…"

"You gave up being an assassin for me. Did you miss class E this time around?"

"Yea… Nagi I don't see how this has to do with anything?"

"You gave up so much. You're not selfish. I would've done the same exact thing."

Without even knowing it those were the words I needed to hear. Those were the words that I was _longing to hear._ I just needed to know I didn't fuck up.

We walked the rest of the way to the train station in silence holding hands and for once with no doubts about our futures.

(at the station)

"Nagisa?"

"Yep?"

"I still want a girl and a boy."

A smile tugged at my lips as he stared at me in awe, "I still want to get married."

"We are only eighteen." I loved teasing this little shit.

"On our terms we are like thirty six because this is the second goddamn time around. But… we can still get married."

"Hmm I guess I'll have to find you a dress."

His face went ablaze in color and I loved it. The train was squealing to a stop and I yanked him close to my chest feeling his heartbeat against mine. This is all I ever wanted. A second chance. A second time around.

My pressed my lips to his chapped ones not caring about the rush of passengers flooding the stations coming from the train. My hands ran through his soft hair and that fire he lit in me in elementary school burned hotter than ever.

The need to completely drown himself in me was never stronger. I was to be imprinted on his skin. I needed to part of him already. Both of us never one without the other. Then our tongues that danced so effortlessly against each other pulled apart and he spoke with a light blush on his cheeks, "The train. We shouldn't miss it."

I nodded getting on with him. Right back where everything started.

-later that night-

"Clean as ever I see." Nagisa huffed putting the rest of his bags in the closet.

"You cannot tell me you don't appreciate coming home to a clean place." I crossed my arms walking over to the kitchen.

"Heyyy you getting the scotch already?! Some things never change."

Like he was magic I swiped a bottle of scotch from a cabinet and held it up like a prize. Perfect way to kick off a celebration.

"No. No alcohol. Not tonight." Nagisa walked closer to me snatching the bottle from me and set it down on the island in the kitchen with a - _thud-_.

"Why?"

"We are not having our first second time drunk again."

My face turned pink and I tried my damndest to calm down, " _What?"_

"We aren't having sex for the first time in this timeline drunk again. You know we would've ended up naked again."

I hated it and loved it when he was like this. When he decided he wanted to make me the flustered mess instead of himself. I loved how even if he didn't look like it he knew exactly what buttons to press to get me begging for him.

Damn Nagi.

Taking control of the situation I stalked over to him standing tall snaking my arms around his waist, " _Oh… Nagi-chan wants to be fucked tonight?"_ I smiled. I knew what words would send him off the edge too.

"Karma! When you say it like that… it sounds so lewd…" So cute.

" _Nothing to be ashamed about. I love your body."_ I let my lips graze his neck sending shivers up and down his spine.

His voice was faltering and his eyes squeezed shut, "Karma… Karma I… I want you."

I placed light kisses on his jawline and nipped at his ear, " _We are on the same page then."_

I lifted him letting our mouths find each other. Our lips sucked, pulling each other in like this was the only way we knew how to breathe. Opening my mouth slightly so he could french me and suddenly we were back where we were at the station. Right where we left off, letting our tongues feel other, letting our tongues discover each others mouths as though it were for the first time.

We made our way into the bedroom and I set him down sliding off my pants, not at all embarrassed as my own arousal. I quickly walked over to the nightstand as he undressed and took out a condom. As I began to tear it open Nagisa grabbed my arm. His face was hot as he put his cheek to my arm.

Mumbling he said, "I-I wanna feel you…"

A smile was brought to my face, "What if you have unspeakable STDs or what if _I_ have unspeakable STDs. Worse you could get pregnant."

He grumbled something that sounded like, " _I fucking hate you so much."_

I put the condom back showering him in kisses, "I want to feel you too."

I grabbed a bottle of lube and used it generously on my fingers. Nagisa was under me tugging off my shirt and boxers.

I never told him this but last time was my first time too. This time is my first time. In both lives I never imagined it being with anyone else except him.

I ran my left hands up and down his torso taking in his lean but muscular figure. Leaving a path of hickies along his sensitive skin he mewled at my touch sending goosebumps down my spine.

Beautiful. Just like this he was beautiful. With his hair pulled back and his eyes closed. His mouth calling out my name while he tried to hide his embarrassment from his arousal. Beautiful. I couldn't get enough.

My right rested on his ass, "You rea-"

"Karma. Please touch me."

He didn't need to say anything else to convince me. My finger eased itself into Nagisa. He wasn't tight at all but I let him let used to the sensation anyway.

"Good?"

"More."

I slide another finger in, "Karma more." He was whining squirming under me unable to control his body.

Why did I get the feeling Nagisa has played with himself before?

I know I wouldn't be able to take three damn fingers my first time, "Play with yourself much Nagisa?"

He rolled his eyes frustrated I was moving my fingers slowly and letting my hot breath fan his thighs as a tease.

"What's it to you?"

"Well if you were I wonder who you could've been thinking about?" I loved making him squirm like this.

Nagisa grumbled, "Yea well when I thought about you at least you weren't so chatty and did something about my boner."

"Mm challenged accepted."

I slid my three fingers out momentarily to grip his hips letting my tongue drag over his penis. He gasped my name and I sucked on his tip a little before taking all of him in my mouth. I massaged his dick with my tongue while sucking on him. I let him thrust into my mouth leaving my throat raw but I'm not a gagger.

Nagisa grabbed the sheets beside him calling out to me. His voice was so damn wrecked. I couldn't let him come just yet. I come feel him getting closer and closer to the edge with every thrust into my throat. I took him out of my mouth wrapped my hand around his length.

"I wanna have a little more fun Nagi-chan."

" _F-fuck Karma. That- that felt so good. Need… need you inside me. Please."_

I grabbed the bottle of lube next to us and applied it generously to my dick, "You sure?" I leaned in close to his face taking his lips with mine and as he pulled away he whispered, " _I'm sure."_

I slide in between his legs. Now he was tight around me it felt so _fucking good._ This didn't feel like fucking. It felt like making love. Like with my body right now I was showing my physical love for him.

He jerked his hips up showing me wanted to move. I started slow getting used to this feeling, I let his hands scratch my back and I felt his back arch up with every thrust.

Only I made him like this. Only I left him breathless wanting more. And I loved it.

I thrusted faster letting myself get lost in him, in this feeling of totally wholeness.

"Nnnghhh Nagisa! Nagi- you feel nghhh so good!" My voice dripped with lust.

My head slipped back and my hands had a mind of their own as I gripped his body. He was panting and held his head close to my neck shakily leaving marks on my neck. I wanted him to feel just as lost as I did. Even more so maybe.

He was calling out like it was the only word he could remember right now, my dick slamming into his prostate over and over abusing his cute ass. He didn't seem to mind as he moved his hips with me letting me bury myself in him. HIs hands ran along my chest and with every touch I felt my orgasm nearing.

"Nagi nghh touch yourself. Touch yourself _for me."_

With shaky hands he gripped his cock only getting in a couple strokes before he finally came over his chest and mine. With one more hard thrust into his ass and after seeing him, an orgasm rocked through me leaving me hovering over Nagisa in a fit of moans.

My sperm filled him and damn I hoped it felt just as good for him as it did for me.

I laid next to grabbing grabbing some tissues next to the bed cleaning both of us up. I ran my hands through his hair letting the blue locks fall in their natural place. God he was so fucking beautiful. Us lying here together naked it made me remember when my soul was slipping in and out of my body. When I used whatever energy I had left to infiltrate his dreams and say goodbye.

Now it was real. Now my hands were actually cupping his cheeks and his arms were actually clutching onto my shoulders like if he stopped he'd collapse. My heart was racing and my hair was slicked back in sweat. We laid under the covers together, he was still trembling and all I could think was 'was I too rough?'

He answered my question.

"That was way better sober."

"Mmhmm." I went under the covers sucking on his plump ass claiming it as mine.

Suddenly I remembered. I stopped and sat up collecting my precious boyfriend in my arms, "Marry me. Marry me Nagisa because I love you and fucking hell I can't live right now knowing we won't be married some day."

His mouth curved into a smile, "I thought you'd never ask."

I embraced his lips with mine and let the kiss deepen.

Nagisa pulled away a bit, "My turn."

Before I knew what was happening the blankets were thrown off the bed and Nagisa was kissing my inner thigh and in a playful but sultry voice said, "My turn for a little fun with you."

His mouth wrapped around my still hard cock and only word word fell from my mouth, " _Nagisa."_

-time skip to five years later-

I was fucking nervous as shit. Sitting in the waiting room holding my husband's hand comforted me but the thought of ' _I'm going to see my kid today'_ was freaking me out way too much.

"Karma you're going to be a great dad. We both will be." Nagisa squeezed my hand tighter and I stared at his wedding ring.

We made a commitment to each other and we we made another one to a kid. One I hope not to fuck up too much.

"I just dont want to screw her up. And next year how will she handle us adopting a boy? You're a natural everyone loves you what if… she doesnt like having two dad's?"

"We will love her anyway."

I smiled and stared at the picture of her. Our soon to be daughter. Only four years old. Nagisa was right.

"Mr. and ? Alexandra is all packed and ready for you."

With shaky steps we both stood up making our way over to her old room in the orphanage. I was holding a box with purple wrapping an a pink bow. A gift for our soon to be daughter.

Nagisa opened the door and as it creaked I saw the beaming smile of a young girl with bright purple hair and light chocolatey eyes.

"Daddy's? Where's mommy?"

I laughed and squeezed Nagisa's hand tighter afraid if I let go I wouldn't be able to move.

"You have two daddy's sweetie." Nagisa said gently.

We knelt down to her size and I handed her our gift. As she opened it she eyes grew wide in happiness. She pulled out a light blue dress along with a doll that was wearing a matching outfit.

She hugged us, her small arms somehow able to hug us both around our necks.

"Can we go home?" Her question was innocent and full of want.

I knew the feeling.

I hoisted her onto my shoulders laughing. Nagisa grabbed her bags and planted a kiss on her cheek, "Yea baby we are going home."

"Hey sweetie we promise we will love you okay?" I looked up at her waiting for a reaction from my genuine words.

"I know! I never had a mommy or a daddy before so two daddy's is special!" She smiled and played with my hair examining the bright red locks.

She giggled. Maybe she would be lucky enough to land in Class-E.

 _ **Thank you all for reading I appreciate all the comments and feedback so sorry for posting a day late technical issues. If you want a one shot of their wedding let me know. Any other fic ideas I can bring to life let me know I'll respond! But sadly this is the end of Karma's a bitch I hope you all loved reading it as much as I did writing it!**_


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